Accomplished- definition: having many social graces; polished or refined.
Lady- definition: a woman of refinement
Refinement- definition: the quality of excellence in thought, manner, and taste.
These passages are from the deepest caverns of my heart. They are reflections that have been locked away--waiting for a time that I could adequately form the words that would do them justice. Though I still lack a broad vocabulary, I can no longer keep them inside.
I must confess that I have a small obsession with a certain movie. I am sure many of you share this small obsession because usually when I bring this particular movie up in conversation, many are eager to share their thoughts.
Yes! Pride and Prejudice is a movie I seem to have an unusual ability, or plague, to watch over and over and not tire from watching it. Similarly, I can watch Emma, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, and Becoming Jane. Now, don’t misunderstand that these are going to be passages about Jane Austen. Though she is a wonderful storyteller, it is not her stories alone that I seem to be consumed by. I also enjoy Little Women, Jane Eyre, and Gone With the Wind just to name a few. I have often wondered what is it about these stories? Is it the characters? The plot? Could it be the language, the costumes, or the cinematography? After much thought I figured it out! Though all of the filmatic elements above add to my enjoyment, the thing that draws me to these movies is the time period; the nostalgia that you feel as you watch them. It’s the desire that I have to be a better woman, or as mentioned above, the desire to be an accomplished lady.
Women in these movies take pride in their ability to be accomplished in the simple things: running their home, serving their friends and neighbors, playing music, creating art, dancing, writing letters, reading literature, and being well versed in the Bible, etc.
I wonder if the definition of accomplished in our day has moved away from social graces and simple refinement towards specific skill sets. Of course then and now cannot all be the same because we are modern women. However, perhaps modern is a given. By that I mean, we are born in the modern world, therefore we are modern. Perhaps we put too much emphasis on being modern when in reality we already are and we might use our time better if we were to use it by trying to be ladies. Please understand that I am speaking to myself as much as to anyone else if not more. I am not perfect at this by any means, which is why I am issuing a call, a challenge if you will: a return to the Accomplished Lady.
It’s interesting to me that you can spend a whole day keeping an orderly home, providing plentiful meals, creating fun activities for the children, giving baths, and then at the end of the day, when you finally climb into bed and lay your head on the pillow, you begin to account for the day, and though it was full, you still have the feeling that you didn’t do anything worth a significant contribution to the world. Do you know that feeling? Is that because nobody is there to give their praise, or is it because on the news or in the paper you see stories of women who are getting praise for their amazing careers? You see actresses and singers talk about achieving their dreams; you see new make-up, hair styles, and fashion and feel that in some way you are estranged if you don’t fit in on some level. Please don’t misunderstand me: I am supportive of one achieving their dreams, and for women in the workforce, and for keeping up with trends. That is what woman’s lib was all about: women having the choice--the choice between running the home or entering the workforce. I wonder, though, if the majority of the women that voted really wanted to enter the workforce or if they just wanted the respect from those around them. I wonder if they didn’t want to be taken for granted and told that their place was in the home. Rather, did the want to be seen as equals, choosing their role just as man was choosing his. I wonder if they expected the movement to turn into what it has become today? Would they be proud? I don’t know, but thought provoking isn’t it? I do know that this change has left many women feeling like failures. If they can’t run their homes and have a successful career, then they aren’t really accomplished in the modern sense. If they give the care needed to run their homes and raise their children, can they have a successful career? If they have a successful career, can they really put in all the time needed to nurture children and run their homes without help? What’s the sacrifice and how does one measure success? I don’t know that I know the answer, but this blog is meant to explore this and so much more. Please understand that I know there are many women in different circumstances: single, divorced, single-mom, working mom, widow etc. This blog will try to explore all circumstances and be as unbiased as possible. However, it will also offer many thought-provoking insights, so that we all might remember traditional ideals, and become better acquainted with the unheard voices that speak contrary to popular culture.
Sisters, its time that we become refined, accomplished, ladies again: ladies who take pride in simplicity and believe that simplicity is the key to making a great contribution. It may be behind the scenes, but it seems to me that the women back in those stories didn’t feel threatened that no one knew how amazing they were, they just were amazing. The idea that a contribution is not a great contribution unless it is noticed is a modern idea, but remember we are redefining the word. This blog is to glorify simplicity! It is to glorify refinement! Every week on Monday, we will have a passage. A thought-provoking insight centered on a modern idea. On Wednesday, there will be tips on refinement that correlate with Monday’s passage and other fun tidbits. On Friday, there will be a spotlight on a real, modern, accomplished lady: someone who does amazing, simple things behind the scenes, and can give hope to others who too, like her, have gone unnoticed. We will start a book club to become well versed in literature, a music library where we can review beautiful music and encourage each other to pick up a new musical skill, an art gallery where women can showcase their art, and much, much more. I am delighted to see where this blog will take us! From here on, all who read these passages are modern, accomplished, ladies making contributions one simple way at a time.
Your Truly,
